Unlocking the Unconscious: How It Influences Us and How Therapy Can Spark Change

Much of what we think, feel, and do isn’t just the result of conscious choices; it’s influenced by the unconscious mind. Our conscious mind holds everything we're aware of right now—our thoughts, decisions, and immediate perceptions. The unconscious, however, holds the emotions, memories, and beliefs that shape us without us realizing it.

A helpful way to understand this is through the metaphor of an iceberg. The small, visible part above the water represents our conscious mind, while the vast, hidden portion beneath the surface is the unconscious. This hidden part stores past experiences, unprocessed emotions, deep-seated beliefs, and automatic responses. Though we may not see it, it has a powerful impact on how we feel, react, and navigate relationships.

The Unconscious at Work

Many of our emotional responses and decisions come from hidden parts of ourselves. Unresolved childhood wounds, messages about our worth, and buried fears shape the way we respond to life today. For example, someone who grew up feeling unheard may struggle to set boundaries, constantly seek approval, or avoid expressing their needs. These reactions can feel automatic, as if they’re part of who we are, but they’re learned responses rooted in the past.

The unconscious also holds universal patterns that influence how we perceive ourselves and the world. These ingrained beliefs, often shared across cultures, shape our views without our awareness. By becoming more conscious of these hidden forces, we can begin making choices that reflect who we truly are, rather than old fears or assumptions.

Hidden Influences on Our Emotions and Reactions

Have you ever had an emotional reaction that felt out of proportion to the situation? That’s often a sign that the unconscious is at play. When something in the present triggers an old wound, we’re not just reacting to the present moment, but to a build-up of buried emotions.

For example, a simple disagreement with a friend or partner may bring up feelings of rejection from childhood. A small critique at work might trigger deep feelings of inadequacy. The unconscious doesn’t distinguish between past and present—it reacts based on what it has learned in the past.

Recognizing and Changing Unconscious Patterns

Although we can’t directly access the unconscious, we can start noticing its effects by:

• Identifying patterns – Struggles in relationships, career, or self-worth often point to deeper, unconscious influences.

• Examining emotional triggers – Strong reactions can be signs of unresolved wounds.

• Reflecting on beliefs – Ask, “Where did I learn this?” to uncover hidden influences.

• Exploring dreams and symbols – Dreams can offer insights into what’s happening beneath the surface.

• Seeking support – Therapy or guided self-reflection can bring unconscious material into awareness, offering the opportunity to shift long-held patterns.

Moving Toward Awareness and Growth

The unconscious shapes much of our behaviour and emotions, often based on past experiences we may not even remember. But we are not stuck in these patterns. By exploring what lies beneath, we can reclaim our power and begin shaping our own story.

When we bring awareness to these hidden forces, we can live more freely and make choices that align with who we truly are. If you're struggling with emotions or patterns that feel beyond your control, know that support is available. Therapy—whether through counselling, hypnotherapy, or EMDR—can help uncover the driving forces behind these experiences, offering clarity, confidence, and peace.

If you've noticed repeating patterns in your behaviour, questioned the source of some emotional reactions, or found yourself facing the same challenges in relationships, reach out to learn how you can create lasting change and how I can support you in moving forward.  Here’s my email ramonaproti.counselling@gmail.com

As Jung wisely said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."