How Can Embracing Change Lead to Personal Growth and Transformation?

Change: A Natural Process

"We cannot change, we cannot move away from what we are until we thoroughly accept what we are. Then change seems to come about almost unnoticed." — Carl Rogers

Change is a funny thing. We long for it, yet we resist it. We dream of transformation, but old patterns often keep pulling us back. Why is it so hard to break free? As winter slowly gives way to spring, I find myself reflecting on change—not just in nature, but within ourselves.

Nature shows us that real change takes time. The trees don’t rush to bloom, the frozen ground doesn’t thaw in an instant, and the first buds don’t appear before they’re ready. And yet, the seasons shift, inevitably and beautifully. So why do we, as humans, struggle with patience when it comes to our own growth? Why do we hold on so tightly to habits, behaviours, and emotional reactions, even when we know they no longer serve us?

Consider the challenges you face—overeating, lashing out, avoiding confrontation, people-pleasing, seeking external validation, needing control, or striving for perfection. These patterns aren’t just bad habits; they were once survival strategies. They helped you cope, feel safe, or navigate difficult experiences. Overeating or drinking may have numbed emotional pain. Anger may have protected you from being vulnerable. Perfectionism may have arisen from the need to feel worthy in the eyes of others. These parts of you aren’t obstacles—they believe they are still protecting you. And when you try to change, they push back—not out of malice, but out of fear. If they let go, what happens next?

Carl Rogers’ words remind us that real change begins with self-acceptance. We cannot force ourselves into a new version of who we are by rejecting the parts of us we don’t like. The more we fight against our perceived flaws—the self-criticism, the guilt, the belief that we’re not good enough—the more we cling to the very behaviours we want to release. Avoidance leads to numbing. Shame leads to self-sabotage. The key isn’t to force change but to understand what drives these patterns with compassion.

The Power of Choice in Change

Change doesn’t happen just by knowing what we should do—it happens through action. And action is uncomfortable. Growth requires stepping into that discomfort and staying with it long enough to create something new. It also requires a strong "why."

Your "why" is your anchor. It’s what keeps you moving forward when change feels difficult. Maybe it’s a value you want to live by, a dream you’re striving for, or simply the desire to feel lighter and freer. But your "why" has to be real—not something you think you should want, but something that truly matters to you.

Ask yourself:• What makes this change meaningful to me?• What’s possible on the other side of it?• How will I feel once I get there?

And be honest: How often have you told yourself, "I’m trying"? "Trying" leaves room for hesitation. Real change isn’t about trying—it’s about choosing. It’s about taking small, consistent steps, building self-awareness, and seeking support when needed.

The Five Stages of Change

Change isn’t instant; it’s a process. One of the most well-known models of change outlines five stages:

1. Precontemplation – You may not fully see the problem or its impact. Others might recognize your struggles before you do, but you may dismiss or rationalize them.

2. Contemplation – You become aware of the issue and consider change but feel torn. Part of you wants to move forward, while another part resists.

3. Preparation – You commit to change, begin gathering resources (like therapy, books, or support groups), and create a plan of action.

4. Action – You start implementing changes, seeking support, and building resilience against setbacks.

5. Maintenance – Over time, your new habits feel more natural. While temptations to revert may arise, your commitment to change remains stronger.

Embracing Therapy as a Path to Growth

Therapy isn’t about fixing you—because you are not broken. It’s about creating a space where you can meet yourself with kindness. It’s about understanding why certain parts of you hold on so tightly to old patterns and giving them permission to evolve. When we stop fighting against our defences and instead get curious about them, they reveal their true purpose. And once we understand them, we can gently guide ourselves toward something new.

Change is not always obvious, nor does it happen all at once. It unfolds in small, sometimes unseen ways, shaping you into who you are becoming. Just because you can’t see immediate results doesn’t mean transformation isn’t happening. Growth is a process—one that takes patience, self-compassion, and support. Therapy can provide the space and tools to help you navigate these changes with clarity and confidence. Change is possible, and you don’t have to go through it alone.

Therapy can be like the steady warmth that encourages a seed to break through the soil. It provides the right conditions—understanding, support, and space—to help you navigate change in a sustainable way. Just as a gardener nurtures new growth with care and patience, counselling offers guidance and tools to help you cultivate lasting transformation. Growth is not about forcing yourself into something new overnight; it’s about allowing yourself to evolve at your own pace, with the right support along the way.

Taking the First Step Toward Growth

If you're ready to explore your path to growth or gain a deeper understanding of what's been holding you back, I’d be honoured to support you. Change takes time, and I’m here to guide you through each step of the process. Feel free to reach out, and together we can work towards the positive changes you're looking for.